Dexter, an “emotional support” peacock was banned by an airline.
The following is a translation of Dexter’s response by Horace Birdsong,
a noted ornithologist.

I was actually looking forward
to my maiden flight on an airplane

But I was denied, banned, put on a “no fly” list.

“I was too large,” they said.
“I was too heavy,” they insisted.
“I was not essential for emotional support,” they claimed

It was the latter insult that ruffled my feathers.
I provided scads of emotional support for my owner.
I knew when to coo or be quiet or just look gorgeous.
My owner, an artist, said my beauty thrilled her, fueled her creative spirit.

I’m seeking to appeal the airline’s decision.
I believe I have a strong case.

My needs are minimal: an aisle seat for perching,
a seat belt extender, access to the first class lavatory.

And, contrary to the rumors, I don’t bite.
And I only screech during mating season,
and then, only if I’m truly in love with a peahen.

Alone on a plane, all I want to do is sit back,
relax, and enjoy the view.